im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize
