At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
