theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
