Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
