It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
