i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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