ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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