There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize