Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We are two peas in an std pod
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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