Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
