Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
