I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
