Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize