Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
