WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
