there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
