i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
