you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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