idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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