Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
