I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
