i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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