Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize