Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
