Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
