That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
