Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How naked do you want me to be?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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