I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
