Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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