are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
