Joe is yelling at the trees again.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
