I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
