Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You dont lie about slip and slides
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
