His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
