Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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