Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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