Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
