Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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