i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
