i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the day after is always just damage control
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
