Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
