After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
