we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
