They should really pass out barf bags in church
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
