I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
