are you still at the devil's house?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
