You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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