Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Panties = found
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