shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
