so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's just like the Real World with babies
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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