don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
