is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
