...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
