I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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