is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
