Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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