You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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