he wants to bone in the snuggie
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
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