I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
