Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
