I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
