And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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