Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
