I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
