my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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