watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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