even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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